you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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