Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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