fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize