Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
