god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
