I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize