i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
