Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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