is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
