Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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