apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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