I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
