Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
