But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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