So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
