I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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