you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
