Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize