Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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