life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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