I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
