I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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