I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
