Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
