I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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