So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize