My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
