dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i think im in europe. pls send help
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