I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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