I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
