ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
