Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
