I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
