Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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