oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this just has baby written all over it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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