If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize