i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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