On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
