I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
