Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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