You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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