At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Houston, we have a blender
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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