she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
