Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
well you can't waste a boner
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
