Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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