Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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