how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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