I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
