My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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