Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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