my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
