hotel room ftw
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
