make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
