i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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